A Winner Is You
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Can be used as congratulations or in sarcasm. Ace your final? A winner is you! Trip over your own feet in front of the object of your obsession affection? A winner is you!
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Asplode
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To explode. Usually this refers to heads. Taken from Strong Bad Emails.
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Bedways
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The direction in which your bed lies. 'Going bedways' means going to bed. 'Bedlike direction' means much the same.
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Behind the Walmart
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A Ninjapornian's favorite spot for burying dead bodies. Also sometimes referred to as 'the gravel pit behind the Walmart'.
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Bigger Than The Moon
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Extraordinarily large. 'Than the moon' can be attached to any similar descriptor word for the same effect. (Example: Larger than the moon, longer than the moon, taller than the moon).
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Blood Dumpster
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"My show's not a comedy, it's a horredy. It's called Blood Dumpster." - Zorak. This term has also come to mean "that time of the month" in Ninjapornia. Instead of being on the rag, the female members have gone blood dumpster.
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BMF
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Bad Mother Fucker. AKA: Samuel L Jackson.
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Bra Slingshottery
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What the chicks of Ninjapornia do when they get home from work/school/wherever. We try to aim away from heads, but it doesn't always work out that way. And sometimes they explode. This is a mysterious occurrence that we are currently unable to explain.
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Brain
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1. Some of our brains have minds of their own (bah dum ching). They often amuse, confuse, or horrify us by chiming in with random observations or mental images without being asked.
2. Brain, from 'Pinky and the Brain', a segment from Animaniacs.
3. What zombies eat. More commonly referred to as 'braaaaaaains'. Vegetarian zombies, however, eat graaaaaaains.
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Bruce Campbell
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God.
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bununununununu...
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A noise that one cannot make without giggling like an idiot. Always in lower case.
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Butter Feet
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When your feet go beyond the realm of normal foot stink and start to smell like butter. An affliction named by Fraggle and her stinky, stinky feet.
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Caek
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Intentional misspelling of 'cake'. Can be used as a random outburst or in appreciation of actual cake.
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Caffeine
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That yummy energy-providing stuff we mainline like junkies.
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Cake
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1. The main reason to get married.
2. The band.
3. Or death!
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Confever
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The extremely strong urge to go to a convention.
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Courch
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The courch popped into our vocabulary one night when we were discussing troubles between hot peppers and vaginas. Lyme came up with a delightful new word in typonese: "we all put weird things on our courch". Courch quickly became defined as a 'crotch couch'. The rest... is history.
An example of zee elusive crotch couch in zee wild!
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Cheese
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A recurring character on the show Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Cheese is the next-door neighbor's imaginary friend and he is an obnoxious little shit the way many 3 year olds are obnoxious little shits. As a result, he gets quoted a lot.
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Crackskittles
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Sour Skittles. So-named by Lyme because they're damn addicting. The Crackskittles Gang is another name for the original inhabitants of Ninjapornia Island.
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Crap on a Crap Cracker
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An exclamation that is similar in nature to 'Well, dammit', but a lot more colorful.
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Crotch Cheese
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There is a race of aliens on the show FarScape which are called Sebaceans and look exactly like humans. As a result, one night, there was talk in #farscape about sebaceous glands and sebum. One of the chatters piped up and asked, "What, you mean that white stuff my husband licks off when he's going down on me?" MUCH horror was had by all, and despite our many attempts to wipe that quote from our brain, it still pops up every once in awhile.
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The hat Jayne recieves from his mother in the series Firefly. How's it sit? Pretty cunning, dontcha think? For examples, simply GIS cunning hat.
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Currdle
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A sweet way to cuddle, in which the cuddlee is cuddled and squished.
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Dead babies
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A frequent topic in Ninjaporn. Often in the form of dead baby jokes or in recipes. Appreciation of dead baby humor is almost a requirement for a Ninjapornian, as it has been an integral part of Ninjapornian society since its inception.
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Ded
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Dead. Can mean you are so tired that you are ded, that you are going to sleep and will be ded, or so amused you have become ded.
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
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A phrase originating from and primarily used by Lyme. It's a shorthand way to jokingly threaten other members. "You will not turn into a psycho woman or I will DOMESTIC VIOLENCE you."
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Drunkenese
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The amusing typos, accidental word exchanges, and keyboard smashing that occurs when one is inebriated.
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Ebil
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Alteration of the word 'evil'. Used to describe the good kind of evil. Examples: dead baby jokes, puns, and baby Jesus dildos.
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Enpossiblificationazable
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The ability to commit the act to make something that is possible, possible. The verb opposite of 'impossible'. |
Euphemisms for Penis
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Very few eupemisms are used for penis in Ninjapornia, most likely because most of us are female. Often referred to as just penis, sometimes the boring 'dick'. Also hoohoodilly, martian, peener, or tubeworm.
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Euphemisms for vagina
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The very popular noonar. Hooha, panty hamster, vajayjay, pink velvet sausage wallet, squish mitten, and others.
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Fancy Date
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There was once a girl on LiveJournal who wrote that she and her boyfriend went out on a "fancy date." Their fancy date consisted of seeing Terminator 3 in theatres and then going out to eat at Denny's. DENNY'S. So in the spirit of being asshats, when going to conventions, we find the local Denny's, get decked out in evening clothes, and have a big fancy date.
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Father Jack
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Father Jack Hackett, from the comedy Father Ted. He spends most of his time drinking and screaming, "FECK," "ARSE," "GIRLS," "DRINK," along with the occasional, "ARE THESE MY FEET?" and, "THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!" He is a source of many quotes and amusement. Lyme once had a Peace Lily named in Father Jack's honor. It was next to impossible to kill, but sadly, it did eventually die.
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Members of Ninjaporn are fond of this movie and often quote it, especially lines like "My god, I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" and "I wanna have your abortion", and actions such as bumping the dresser to make the dildo jiggle.
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Fire Bad, Tree Pretty
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Said when your brain isn't functioning on higher levels. When someone utters this, it means that they are exhausted. Usually said on the way to crashing. Originally from the mouth of Buffy in Graduation Day, Part 2.
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Fishdicks
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Fishsticks. One of the foods eaten by ChiDoll that somehow ends up getting turned into something with a porny name.
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Foodulate
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To eat.
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Frobamaba
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Obamaba. Only, with a fro.
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Fruits Basket Parody Episode
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A very special parody was produced of episode 24 of Furuba. Special because it had nothing to do with the story, and a lot to do with sexual escapades of the characters. Another source of many fun quotations, such as, "Check this shit out! Boot sotmpin craziness!" "DAMN YOUR SUMBLIMINAL CONTROL OF MY BOOTS!" Also, "Honda-san, do you like butter?" "I prefer jam." "Let's stay together, eat some more." And much fun is had by all.
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Fucktard
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Someone who surpasses all known levels of stupidity while being horribly annoying and offensive at the same time.
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Fud
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Food.
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Gernades
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Taken from the way Jayne Cobb says 'grenades' in the movie Serenity: "Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some GERNADES, doncha think?!"
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Gianormous
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Word combination of 'giant' and 'enormous'. It's being entered into the Merriam-Webster dictionary (however, they're spelling it incorrectly; there's an A in the word, dammit).
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GIYF
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If you ask a dumb or obvious question, you might be told 'GIYF' (Google Is Your Friend). Just fucking Google it.
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Go on go on go on go on go on go on...
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Also from Father Ted. The house keeper is keen on pushing a cup of tea on anything vaguely human shaped. Won't you have a cup of tea Father? Oh go on. Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on...
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Gonaherpasyphalaze
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A combination of gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis. Generally used to refer to any venereal disease.
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Good/Bad Day for Science
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Said if one is having a particularly good or bad day. From the mouth of Dexter, of Dexter's Laboratory.
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Gluteal Haberdashery
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Asshattery; the practice of being an asshat.
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Gud
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Good. Also: grud.
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Gymcocks
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Gymsocks.
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HALAUAGLAHLAUGH,
Etc.
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A common sound found in Jerkcity comics. The Jerkcity glossary defines it as thus: "An all-purpose sound, denoting the act of performing oral sex, the act of receiving oral sex, taking drugs, writing your Congressman, misdialing your party and getting that annoying series of tones, or sitting perfectly still and making no noise whatsoever." Instances of hlaugahluaglhal-ing in Ninjapornia are often followed up with some of the more offensive and hilarious Jerkcity quotes.
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Harbl
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ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS?
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Have Fun Storming the Castle
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A quote taken from The Princess Bride, used as a Ninjapornian goodbye when one member goes to school or work.
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Hobbit Porn
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There's no H in Ninjapornia, but there are Hobbits.
The original name of #ninjaporn stems from the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy and various fans pornifying all things Hobbit related. Fans slash everything, more so if the males are in any way nerd entertainment related. The name stuck until people we were trying to avoid were told of the room. We decided we had to change it.
Hence forth when its abbreviated, it's referred to as #nhp.
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Holy Trinity, the
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Lyme, Quasadu, and ChiDoll. Lyme was named God by members in old #farscape. Why is a mystery. Among ourselves we decided Quas is Jesus and Chi is The Holy Ghost.
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Horse Divorce
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Originating from the French word "hors d’œuvre," Lyme often pronounces it "horse divorce" because French never sounds the way it's spelled.
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Hoopy Frood
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A really amazingly together person who knows where their towel is. Said of someone you want to call really awesome. Term originated in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
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Hoverpoop
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The method some people use to crap in public restrooms: squatting over the toilet, without coming into contact with the seat, and attempting to poop. Often backfires and ends in excrement on surrounding toilet, walls, and/or pooper themself. Coined by Fraggle.
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HURGH HURGH HURGH
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The sound Hyper's cat makes when it pukes on the bed. This phrase makes him cry and go 'stoooop thaaaat'.
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Hyper's Arm Vagina
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Deep in Hyper's armpit lies the mystical arm vagina. It's a vagina, but in his arm.
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Jeorb
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Job (that thing you have to go to when you're not on the computer). |
Jingleballs
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Coined around Christmastime a couple of years before #fs imploded. May have resulted from typoese.
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Kermit Arms
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A flailing, of sorts. So-named because the action originated with Kermit the Frog.
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KILL IT/THEM
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A general imperative exclamation, sympathetically offered to someone when they are angry at something. It's all Hyper's fault.
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A special video produced by the former band Psycho le Cemu showcasing their "Magical Box." In it Bob and Catherine (Yurasama - drums and Aya - guitar, dresses as a girl) cut cucumbers with the box, cook rice in the box and magically produce an emasculating dog, and finally deface Nicolas's cell phone and guitar. (Lida - guitar, lover of boobies.) A source of many weird quotes and random yelling of Engrish.
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Kintama
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A japanese euphemism for testicles. Translated it would be gold ball.
The show Gintama, very close in spelling in romanji and hiragana (きんたま - - ぎんたま), is a favorite in #NHP for it's intentially pervy name and nothing-is-sacred attitude.
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Klez, the
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Any nasty disease or illness. Was originally used to refer to venereal diseases, but has long since been generalized. The name comes from a much-feared Internet virus from several years ago.
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Lesbiplant
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The Ninjapornian national plant. The lesbiplant fruits with copious numbers of Big Gay Cupcakes when in season. Each fall, Ninjapornia throws a lesbiplant festival, whereupon we honour the plant, its fruits and flowers, and don laurels made of its dusky blue leaves. The lesbiplant's large flowers range in colours from deep crimson to pale pink and greatly resemble female genitalia.
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Lord Google
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The deity personified of Google.com. Mentioned when someone worships him by looking something up. "All hail Lord Google!" or "/me bows to Lord Google" are not uncommon references to this action.
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Love Mummy
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HUUUGS! CUUUURSE! SUUURF TUUURRRFF! NO! BOXES NOT COOL! Taken from the Love Mummy episode of aqua teen. A term used for attention whoring, especially in pets.
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Manko
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Another term for vagina. This one is basically "pussy" in Japanese. Used often in Ebichu and therefore picked up by Ninjapornians.
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Miscellaneous Duct-Tapery
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The random duct-taping of someone to a ceiling, wall, piece of furniture, or other object.
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Muffin Top
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When a girl insists on wearing pants that are too small for her and a roll of skin spills over the top like a muffin. Despite this term being used in a derogatory nature against women with weight on them, this is more common among "skinny chicks" because of their insistence on fitting into a size zero or double zero and wearing low riders. One only has to spend an hour or two people watching on a college campus to see at least 50 girls who wear a size 5 pretending they really wear a 2 causing their own muffin tops.
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Napalm
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While normally referring to a nasty chemical weapon, napalm in Ninjapornia refers to a type of bowel movement. It's the type that you might have after eating a bowl of hard boiled eggs dipped in a hot sauce with a name like "Rectal Rocket Fuel." Napalm hits you quickly, makes you run screaming for the bathroom, and leaves you screaming well after the viscous fire vacates your ass. Napalm leaves your brown eye feeling as if it is sucking on a red hot coal covered in spikes.
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Ninja (verb)
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To do something in a sneaky, ninja-like manner. Example: "I ninja'd an extra piece of cake when nobody was looking!"
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Nom
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The sound made when eating. Can also be used as a verb: "/me noms on her caek". Often seen in strings of the word; nomnom, nomnomnom, omnomnom, etc.
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Noonar
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Vagina. This term gets its own listing because it is used so often.
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Obamaba
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Barack Obama. Originated with this video.
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Olive Fucker
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HyperKinetic> Crap, I got olive jizz on my shirt
Bug> ...
Lyme> o_O
HyperKinetic> It's coooold!
Bug> Why were you jerking off an olive?
HyperKinetic> LOL, no
Bug> Little Hyper has some strange tastes.
HyperKinetic> ARGH
Lyme> Olivefucker
Bug> He's after the pimento.
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Oshiri Kashite
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A phrase taken from a book of Japanese slang. It translates to "May I borrow your ass?" It's fun to pop on people who are clueless and see how they answer.
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Peckermint
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Our special perved-out variation on peppermint.
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Pon Farr
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Originating from Star Trek, of course, we use it to describe those certain times when hormones go nuts, and anything on legs looks attractive. It's also marked by a sudden increase in perviness, which is saying a lot considering the high level of perv always present.
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Pon Farr Spirla Snydorme
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Characterised by intense swearing, sexual frustration, and excessive typos. |
Poocano
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Explosive in the same manner as a volcano, a poocano is an explosive ejection of poo from one's ass. Unlike a volcano, however, it generally shoots down instead of up. Unless you are a hoverpooper, and then possibly horizontal causing splatter on the wall. If you produce a poocano, it is much appreciated that you clean up after youself.
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Pornado
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Can be used in multiple ways. If one ends in a seemingly infinite loop of porn ads or popups, they have gotten caught in a pornado. Being deluged with mass amounts of porn itself can also be a pornado. (This is a new word; more uses will be added as they reveal themselves.)
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Porny/Not Porny
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Porn is a favorite form of entertainment with certain Ninjapornians. Not for wanking, but for shock value and laughs. Fraggle was often the source of links to horrible porn but also some interesting links of a non-porny nature. It was requested that Fraggle's links come with the disclaimer "Porny" or "Not Porny" for those at work or who preferred to remain innocent.
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Postconnitis
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The horrible crappy feeling after going to a con. Usually, a strong desire to go to another con right then and there.
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Punch your nuts off
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When something is beyond cute, beyond adorable, it can be said to cause you to punch your nuts off.
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Psysol
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A product used to wipe out horrific mental images, when they've been inflicted by one thing or another. Can be applied via pouring into the ears or eyes. Scrubby-brush is optional.
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QL
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Quote List. A source of amusement for all. Lyme began by keeping funny/embarrassing IRC quotes as blackmail material on her site. This responsibility is now Chi's. Hyper pesters for these quite often. QLs come out periodically, depending on how often Ninjapornians make with the funny.
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Reboob
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Typoese for 'reboot'.
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Rude Terms for Children
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Several members of Ninjapornia are among the ranks of the childfree. We don't hate kids in general, but some are so ill-behaved that they deserve special rude nicknames. For example; flesh loaf, crotch dropping, diaper monkey, semen demon, crotch fruit, botched abortion, cum stain, frankenspawn, etc. Such terms aren't specific to the childfree, but are more common among them. Fraggle's grandmother often refers to children as "little shits."
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Russian hat
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One of Hyper's actions: turning into a Russian hat and perching on someone's head. A Russian hat:
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$cientology
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The correct spelling of the batshit-crazy cult known commonly as Scientology. This is because they suck thousands of dollars out of stupid desperate people. $cientologists are also sometimes referred to as $cienoheads.
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Satan
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Could it beee.......FRAGGLE? Again, the why of this is a mystery, but we took it and ran with it.
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Satan is living in his/her/its ass
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A term often used by Lyme to describe her cat's very smelly poop, it can refer to anyone who has had a particularly pungent bowel movement. Often with a distinct smell of sulfur and brimstone. Sometimes accompanying napalm.
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Set Sail For Jesus
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Taken from the comic Jerkcity. "My dick is a time machine, masturbation is the on/off switch." "Set sail for Jesus!"
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Sharking
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To wake someone by poking them in the side with a boner; usually unintentional. Can also be applied to poking someone in the side with your fingers at random times with this definition in mind. Originated here in the webcomic Questionable Content.
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Shelf
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Mainly applies to female members of our island. The shelf is the area created by boobs where crumbs collect while eating.
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Shiny
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1. An attractive or desired object. However, a shiny might not actually be reflective.
2. Something that is literally shiny.
3. An adjective; something that is good, nifty, or awesome can also be described as shiny.
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Smrt
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Smart. Often used sarcastically.
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Snydorme
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Sleepy zombie typoese for 'syndrome'. Pronunciation: sneye-door-may.
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Sodium
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Spiderman, Spiderman, he's got sodium in his pants. The symbol for sodium on the periodic table of elements is Na, which in Ninjapornia is now an abbreviation for "nice ass."
Spiderman, Spiderman, he's got sodium in his pants,
Strip him down, win a prize, slash him with that Harry guy.
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Sombrero Steve
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An early mascot of Ninjaporn, Sombrero Steve is a big pink spiky buttplug wearing a sombrero. He wears a hat because you lose 90% of your body heat through your head. Once had a twin sister, Stephanie the Cock Ring, who was also pink and bumpy. Alas, Stephanie has shuffled off this mortal coil and gone to the big orgy in the sky.
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Spaztard
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When one does something really spazzy but truly stupid. Like putting the remote control in the refrigerator or attempting to flush the toilet with a light switch. Everyone has spaztard moments, but in Ninjapornia we have elevated the spazzy stupidity to an art form. We also brag about it.
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Sprang
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Similar to an earworm, this is when you find yourself repeating the same word in a loop in your head. Example: SPRANGSPRANGSPRANGSPRANGSPRANGSPRANGSPRANG.
Original credit for this phrase goes to ChiDoll.
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Squeaky
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1. What one is after taking a bath or shower; clean. Going to take a shower or bath is referred to as 'getting squeaky'.
2. Hyper's ass, which squeaks like a balloon when you poke it.
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Squishmitten
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1. Vagina.
2. A mouse. Came to be used as another word for a mouse or rat when Chi found one skittering around her house. Lyme suggested naming it Squishmitten if it were caught and kept (it got away and was later mousetrapped :( ). Now Eryn has squishmittens running around (but that's mostly been stopped, too).
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SST
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Sebacean Space Tree. ErynTzun's natural habitat. Made of titanium and grows peaches. As well as many comfortable amenities, its features include: Hyper-proof shield, frag gun, lasers, a moat, a pie launcher, an unlimited supply of d*ck tape and much, much more.
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Sweet Christ on a Segway
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What it sounds like. Jesus on a Segway. An exclamation usually used for surprise or disgust.
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Telephone
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Something that most Ninjapornians love to hate. Telephones are the bad kind of evil.
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THAT Crowd
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Once used by #farscape people as an epithet to describe Ninjapornians as a group. Mostly, they were just jealous that they didn't get invited into our super secret handshake club. It has since been adopted as a pet name for members of #nhp.
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Tie
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Means 'thank you'. Also sometimes spelled 'thai'. Comes from a phonetic pronunciation of the shortening of 'thank you' into 'ty'.
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To 300 Someone
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An instant cold shower to a Ninjapornian going through Pon'Far. Term came about after Lyme saw 300 in all its greasy-speedo'd-manflesh glory. This mental image is supplied to someone in the throes of Pon'Far, to offset the lechery.
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Toerl
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Typoese for 'towel'; originated in #farscape eons ago.
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Toetag
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A tag attached to a dead person's toe for identification purposes. People are toetagged in #nhp when they are quiet for a long period of time and no one knows where they wandered off to. The entire room can also be toetagged, when it dies.
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Try Not to Suck Any Dick on the Way to the Parking Lot
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A quote taken from the original Clerks movie. It is another Ninjapornian way of saying goodbye when someone heads to work or school.
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Typoese/Typonese
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The special language that fills your sentences with typographical errors.
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Vagina Dentata
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The condition of having teeth in one's vagina. First entered usage among our population when Chi found this site and inflicted it upon the room. Finding new instances of the phenomenon in various mediums is great amusement.
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Wake-up Strips
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Bumpy safety measures found on the sides of the road that are supposed to wake one up when they go to sleep while driving; driving over them while awake makes the people in the car giggle.
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Walmartin'
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1. To dress up in costumes and walk around Walmart at 3 in the morning and entertain/weird out the clerks.
2. The phrase 'going to Walmart' can mean the action of masturbating. It is best to ask for clarification in some situations, as it is not always it may not always mean what you think it means.
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Whore Moans
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Hormones.
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Wibbly Eyes
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When a character in anime, usually shoujo, gets big wobbly eyes because they're emotional. Also used in sillier anime like Ebichu, and real life, to try and get something out of someone.
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Wubba
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Shortening of 'welcome back'. Used pretty often, because some of us have connection issures for one reason or another.
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YARR
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To pirate music, movies, or TV shows on the internet. "I yarr'd Last Samurai for my art history paper, and promptly felt the urge to drop the tower in a tub of bleach to cleanse it."
Also, a random phrase that's fun to yell. Others include: "ARR!" "BLARG!" and "HAUHGALHAUGLHAGLHAGLUHL COCKS."
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Yeticorn
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A combination of the yeti and a unicorn. The phrase describes the Frontiers costume of Psycho Le Cemu's bassist seek. Also known as "Fluffy White Thing."
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Your Ass is Ringing
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When someone has a cell phone in their pocket and it begins ringing. It sounds like their ass is ringing.
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Your Shirt's Hungry
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When someone drops food on their shirt, you inform them by saying, "Your shirt's hungry."
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Zombie
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1. A reanimated corpse, usually not terribly attractive anymore and without many intact mental faculties.
2. What someone turns into when they're extremely tired, sleep-deprived, or headed in a bedlike direction.
3. A verb, meaning to stumble or lurch around in a zombie-like manner. Usually done just before going to bed or immediately upon waking.
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ASCII representation of the body pose involving stretching both arms over your head in celebration of something. Often used in conjunction with interjections such as "FTW!" or "YAY!"
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