Thunder Pimp, makes the elements themselves his bitch with his lightning bolt cane.

Me on my first birthday.

Name: Thunderpimp, Cpt. Mansteak, Sergeant McAwesome, Baron Von Crabcakes Chairman of the Forest, and Galapagosaurus.

Age: Depends on my mood.

Gender: /B/tard

Sexual Orientation: Women, no susbstitutions, preservatives, etc

Location: Emerald City, Oz

Species: Sea Slug

Favorite color: Purple

Favorite food: Meat+Starch+Cheese

Sign: Do not pass go; do not collect $200.

Size: Colossal, bordering on C+

Ninjas vs. Pirates: Me

Danger Level: Mauve

Favorite Bowel Movement: The one where you thank the spaghetti monster you still have bones.

Favorite Method of Abusing HyperKinetic: All

Favorite cat macro: It's dangerous to go alone, take this!

Favorite bad movie: "Attack of the Killer Condom".

In 5 words or less, explain why ninjas are so awesome:  Because they do my bidding.

If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,

could I meet you between the holidays?  No. The period in between those particular holidays is rather loathsome...curse you jingle bells!! 

Puppies + ice cream =  Half the reason I get yelled at for their being hair in the ice cream. Other half of course being I stir it around with my dick.

Before you’re born the FSM is handing out fetishes. Pick two: MIDGET NINJAS!!!

Midgets, ninjas, pirates, robots, or monkeys?