The dark halls of a forgotten keep,  the corpses of slain soccer mom's hang from the ceiling, the remains of their demonic hellspawn adorn pikes hanging from the walls .  Down these halls, and up the winding stairs of the tallest tower, you will see the figure of a man sitting alone on a throne of cold steel.  A grand fire burns in the chamber, fueled by the alcohol filled blood of drunken frat-boys and college whores.  The burning lights dance accross his armor and cast a long shadow that fills the entire chamber.  His gaze shifts from the floor to meet the eyes of the one who intrudes on his after battle meditation. 

"Speak! or meet the fate of those before you."

"Elyk wake up and fill out this survey!" a familiar voice echoes through his mind.  It appears as though he has fallen asleep again playing World of Warcraft.

Name: Kyle or Elyk, Elyk or Kyle.  Elyk better.

Age: just a number

Gender: Circle with the arrow that points down and to the right

Sexual Orientation: Natural born fear of females, but not gay

Location: Azeroth

Species: Level 70 Blood Elf Warlock

Favorite color: Anything with an earthy tone

Favorite food: Dorito Chicken

Sign: Dragon

Size: I was in the pool!

Ninjas vs. Pirates: Ninjas

Danger Level: The Final Countdown

Favorite Bowel Movement: Fire

Favorite Method of Abusing HyperKinetic: Hammers

Favorite cat macro: Cat macros...

Favorite bad movie: Versus

In 5 words or less, explain why ninjas are so awesome: The Real Ultimate Power.com

If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,

could I meet you between the holidays?  HOLIDAYS ARE FOR THE WEAK!

Puppies + ice cream = Ice...puppy..cream?

Before you’re born the FSM is handing out fetishes. Pick two: Warrior princesses and sorceresses

Midgets, ninjas, pirates, robots, or monkeys? midgets?! they are DWARVES! the blood of their enemies will stain their beards and feed their battleaxes!

Extra things!

Dragonforce will rock your face off.

Penny Arcade is one of the best webcomics ever.