Boobies

 

 

1. The term breast refers to the upper ventral region of an animal’s torso, particularly that of mammals, including human beings. The breasts of a female primate’s body contain the mammary glands, which secrete milk used to feed infants. This article deals with the human breast; for other animals, see udder and mammary gland.

 

 

2. We find standard terms to be boring, so we use as many other things as possible. Sometimes we make up our own:

Boobies, breasticles, rack, dirty pillows, tits, jublees, jigglies, thingies, chestal region, holy humps, chichis, bazongas, gazongas, knockers, puppies, hooters, mosquito bites, honkers, two asprins on an ironing board, magumbos, mounds, melons, funbags, waterbags, happy sacks, flotation devices, sweater cows, bazoozums, wachungas, and the all new but not really - foobaloobers.

 

 

 

3. A battle cry or an attention getter. Sort of like "SPOON!" for The Tick, only this is not a comic book and we're mostly harmless. Pretty much all Ninjapornians appreciate breasts, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. We're awesome like that.

 

 

Science Fiction Related Boobies:

 

What would science fiction and horror be without blood, boobs and a beast? How else do you gain attention when something disturbing is on the screen? By combining it with something pleasant. Who needs a plot? Sadly, most men do not. There are quite a few movies that are unacceptable no matter how much you emphasize boobies. These usually include unnatural boobies that double as a table or video game boobies that are pointy where they shouldn't be. Real boobies are the best, though sometimes all-too-perfect boobies may seem like science fiction - this explains Salma Hayek.

 

Occasionally there are artificial lifeforms or cyborg boobies, these are best accompanied by humor. Otherwise they're usually evil, wrong or Ratings Boosters a.k.a. 36 of D's. If they're for justice, with the addition of a chainsaw and a flamethrower, then of course they're extra special. See: D-Cups of Justice.

 

 

 

Helpful Illustrations

"Boobies? Is that what those are?"	"Long time no see, you need to come out more often."
Innocent and patriotic (despite subject being Canadian); how can you not love them?	Up to no good is even better, Preferable even.
Even sidways - boobies equal win.	Extra credit boobies: for no good raisin!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Animation Sensation Section

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chest Chart

 

( .Y. ) = medium boobs

(.Y.) = small boobs

( . Y . ) = big boobs

( .y. ) = cross-eyed boobs

( . | . ) = flat boobs

(.) (.) = cleavage

(^)(^) = perky

( y ) = nippleless

\./\./ = grandma

(#)(#) = milked

(*)(*) = bitten

{{ ( .Y. ) }} = jiggling boobs

 

Disclaimer:

The author of this condensed page makes apologies for using Amanda Tapping as an example to illustrate the meaning of why boobies are awesome.  Said author believes she will never encounter this obscure page and be spared from our jokes and possible scaryness.

The author reminds you that it could be worse. Two words: fan fiction.

 

For references to horrifying boobies, you'll want to visit ED. There are already plenty of disturbing images elsewhere on this site.